Taxol…a word i now hate, and a drug that i do not look forward to. My bones hurt so bad, not just from the neulesta shot but also from this damn drug!!  Im gettin hit from 2 things that are supposed to help me.  Im sore and nothing is helping, im trying to do everything to ease the pain but nothing.  I just gotta ride this out. I havent had much sleep, ive tossed and turned, cant get comfy cause of the pain, o and this horrible hot flashes.  They actually arent as bad as i thought they would be, but still nothing to look forward to.  And to top it off im cramping!   Why?!???! I do not know.  Im not producing any eggs, which means i have no period so why on Gods gorgeous green earth am i cramping?  It almost feels like contractions, well what i can remember.  Sigh…the storm isnt going to last forever, but while its roaring its not very nice.  My thumb nails are getting darker (they are black down by my cuticle), the color of my palms have changed.  Im a lil light bright so my palms are usually a light pink color, now…theyre brown.  My eyes are swollen, like they’re infected.  Full of fluid and not attractive at all.  O and they hurt!  My skin wont stay moisturized, and it hurts to walk on my feet (mainly from the hard skin or whatever) but im also getting bruises on my feet and a few other places on my body…they call it skin discoloration…but looks like a bruise to me!

But through all the pain and inconveniences that this is causing i am being blessed!  A doctor from my clinic that goes to Ms.Misty’s church gave me $200 for the gel for my eyebrows and lashes.  Its supposed to keep them put, and not drop out.  I am so thankful as they are $50 for a little mascarra like bottle…actually half that size.  I have family and friends that check on me daily, and that makes me feel so good, and loved.  Im home sick so hearing from them perks me up so much.

I ordered some dr.schulze super foods and mangosteen, it should help with my energy and also i hear is good for me all round.  But i need to find out if any will conflict with my meds.  We will see.

christmas is soooo close, its my favorite time of the year, but this is the 1 year i cant give out gifts to people.  I love giving presents for christmas, and the christmas church service. I look forward to them.  This year is going to be a but different which has me in a bit of a funk, but at least im trying to make sure Harlow has a great christmas.  My whole goal has been for her to not notice any changes.  So far so good.

Ok…well this pain sucks and i need to eat…yup im a foodie 🙂

xoxoxo Nita

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