music is my happy place

So i thought tonight as I sit here, freshly showered about to watch United States of Tara that I’d share some of the songs that I listen to…either when I’m down, when I’m feeling like I have all the strength in the world, and when I’m letting myself know I’m still here….

So when I’m down, or feeling like I can’t do this I listen to “Smokie Norful – I need you now” (thanks Kei) Here’s the lyrics:

Not a second or another minute
Not an hour of another day
But at this moment with my arms outstretched
I need you to make a way as you have done so many times before.
Through a window or an open door,
I stretch my hands to thee
Come rescue me
I need you right away.

I need you now [x4]
Not another second or another minute
Not an hour of another day but, Lord
I need you right away

If I never needed you before
To show up and restore all of the faith that I let slip.
While I was yet searching the world for more, the truest friend I have indeed
You’re my best friend I know in need,
I stretch my hands to thee
Come rescue me
I need you right away.

The agony of being alone
The fear of doing things on my own
The test and trials that come to make me strong.
The feelings of guilt, hurt, shame, and defeat
The waves and trials that beat upon me
But to know, Lord, that in you I’ve got victory.

I need you now, Lord,
I need you now (ooooh)
I need you right now, right now, right now
I need you now
Oh, not another second, not another minute, Lord,
Can’t wait another day (oooh no, no)
Please, make a way (ooh, lord, ooh, God, ooo yeah)

 

When I’m feeling like I have no strength, when I want to give up, I listen to “Whitney Houston – didn’t know my own strength”:

Lost touch with my soul
I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream
Thought it would be the end of me

I thought I’d never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to
I, I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart
I found the light to life my way out of the dark
Found all that I need here inside of me

I thought I’d never find my way
I thought I’d never lift that weight
I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times I wondered
How I’d get through the night
I thought I took all that I could take

I didn’t know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn’t know my own strength

My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn’t know my own strength

I was not built to break, no, no
I got to know my own strength

 

and when I’m feeling like a BEAST, and I just know there is nothing that’s gonna hold me back, I listen to “Katy Perry – Roar”:
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar…

Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar…

And the last song I listen to, is when I”m feeling overwhelmed.  When I feel no one wants me to have those moments where I break down.  Where I hold a smile day in and day out and sometimes I feel like a robot, because I bury my true feelings, and I just want to let them out…I listen to “Christina Perri – Human”:

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that’s what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that’s what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that’s what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I’ll get through it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human

I’m only human
I’m only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
‘Til I’ve had enough

‘Cause I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human

 

Music has been my go to, there are so many other songs that I listen to, but these have been the ones I listen to over and over and yes….over again.  I cry, I laugh, I dance around my house like Ellen (I love her) and I sing my heart out (no I can’t sing) (and no you really do NOT want to hear me try).  But it helps.  We all have someone we go to to all to and vent, someone who can somewhat understand or at listen shut up and listen to how we are really feeling, and I have that person…she’s my “person” and always will be.  But recently this music has been what speaks for me so I never have to open my mouth.  Sometimes it’s nice for someone/something to speak on your behalf.  What the heck, put them on your iPod or mp3 player (or burn to a cd for all you folk stuck back in the 2006 era) but listen to them…if you have other songs you may think will help me, leave them in the comments.  I’m open to listening to any and everything, I love music!

Music = my thoughts, fears, and emotions over a sick beat!

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