8am November 27 and i am up, im usually up really early cause of Harlow, but today im up because i slept through the night for the 1st…maybe 2nd time since september! But im still tired, and i need to get up and eat some oatmeal but im too lazy right now…but i am up, i am blessed and i am thanking the good Lord for…well everything. There are some people that didnt wake up this morning, and their are some people mourning cause of others that didnt wake up, there are people who woke up knowing they wouldnt have a thanksgiving meal, and their are some trying to find something as small as breakfast for their kids, there are some people who woke up without a home, and there are some whose homes are completely under snow, there are some who woke up with no hope, and their are some that today will give up their fight…God chose to bless me, and wake me up with so many things others dont have. My “little” life challenges seem extremely minute compared to the blessings i receive daily.
I woke up this morning feeling so lonely. Ive gotten to a point i believe where im so happy and loving myself that i am ready for someone to be there,here, with me. Some days i just wanna wake up to a warm loving body and be so comfortable and feel so safe that i fall back to sleep…yes im tired of waking up cold and having to cuddle with my pillow. But thats what i woke up like…again. Its crazy cause for years i’d tell my friends you know, take time out for you. Well i took my own advice and have been single for almost 3 years…yup!!! 3 whole long years. Lol whats a gurl gotta do geesh!!!! But in that time spent apart from someone, learning them, loving them, being there for them at any and every call. I was able to do and be that person for me. To love me, put myself first, make me happy, i learnt me. So i’d still give my friends the same advice and finally i can admit that yea ive tried it, i lived it, i learned to love it. But…right now its time, im ready…for something real, something lasting and worth all this wait. Id wait forever til i get it, and until then ill cuddle with this pillow, it hadnt failed me yet!
i woke up cold but thankful. I am thankful for so many things. This is the 1 day we set aside to give thanks…we should do it every day but ehh we dont. So on this day i am thankful for life,health, and strength. Definitely my strength. This is a difficult road, and even though some people tell me i make it look easy its not. Its stressful, it hurts, its scary, its almost something that will eat you alive…if you let it. Thats where my strength comes in. God knows i would not be able to go through this without the strength or life lessons he has given me along the way. I’ve been through enough to write a book, but the things that ive been through have prepared me for what i’m going through. And i am grateful for the little hurdles/battles that i have fought and overcome during these 30 years of life. I’m thankful for timing, because all things are given in his time. My daughter came at the right time, the right age, and even though she was a preemie she was my early (thank goodness cause it was too hot to stay pregnant) blessing. God knew what he was doing when he made her, i mean he really out did himself (well he could have worked on her rhythm more) but shes perfect, she the closest thing to perfect i’ve ever seen. I’m thankful for family struggles, i know right who is thankful for the bad times. Well me! And no its not cause i live in a state of gloom, its because without the struggles, the fights, the honest but sometimes too harsh words, family wouldnt be as strong as they are. Well mine anyway. Fight is what make a man, and fight and struggle is what bonds a family. I can now appreciate the bad, because it wouldnt have bonded us together if our lives where all sugar plums and gum drops. All in all im thankful for so much, probably too much to sit and write in my journal about. But i woke up, im breathing, i have a roof over my head and clothes on my body, i am blessed and highly favored. I may not have the job that i want, but its a job. I may not have the significant other i want but i have happiness within, i may not have the gorgeous house i always dreamed of, but i have a roof over my head and it doesnt leak and its warm, i may not have so many things that i want, but i have everything that i need. And for all my needs being supplied i’m thankful….
So as i go through out this day i’m going to just say thank you. Because he didnt have to bring me this far, he didnt have to give me the things that i need, he didnt even have to wake me up this morning but he did!!! He chose me to be on this earth for a reason, and i am extremely thankful for that!!
what are you thankful for?