“For every mountain, you brought me over. For every trial, you’ve seen me through…for every blessing, hallelujah…for this i give you praise!!!!!”
i woke up with that song blasting in my head. This mountain that i am trying to climb over is tiring, draining, and feels almost impossible. But ive made it to a new day, im alive, im breathing, im smiling. I woke up saying thank you today, cause he didnt have to but he did let me see a new day.
I really hope that im not catching Harlows cold. I need her to embrace her own germs and keep them close to her, because my throat feels a little strange and my eyes burn. But it could be because im tired. I was up through out the night with her i just want my baby to get better. Its so hard having to lay next to your child with a mask on your face. And your only wearing the mask because they tell you 7-12 days after your injection your WBC count will be the lowest, and im right amack dead in that time frame…rme…just my luck! So the mask is being worn and im making sure shes ok…she wants me so im not gonna say no.
So anyway…the back of my hair is out, my hair line is practically gone and the top of my head is thining out. I look like an old man lol. At first i jad decided to just allow it to drop out bit by bit and deal with it. You see each time a section would come out i would break down. It was giving me a chance to release the fears i have buried. I dont cry much, when i do…i dont cry long. Crying is good for the soul they say but it clogs up my sinuses and honestly causes me more pain. So a quick cry break is all i need here n there. Buuuttt this morning i decided im shaving my head…so its all going down tonight…apt 217…my head is getting shaved bald…for a whopping $12 lol. And im ok with it…i will break down after its all gone, i know i will. I am going to cry and scream and then im going to laugh, and smile, and embrace the fabulous new look.
The way i see it life throws you curve balls all the time…its how u chose to deal with it thats gonna determine how things end up. Cant cry forever and ask why you, or can i catch a break or whatever. Cause honestly if life was easy…what would you ever have to be thankful for??? Its those trials, mountains and curve balls that define you…make the most out of all situations big and small.
ok so i know i sd i wouldnt post any more pics of my hair…but im gonna give it to ya lol…plus im ne mr.clean bald in less then 24hours anyway…