Sept 3…The day my world stood still

“Good day….Ms.Lambe?”

Yes that’s me

“Can you come in to Dr. Thomas’s office? it’s 2:00 now, how soon can you be here?  we’ve gotten your results”

RESULTS!!! The one thing that I was waiting for, they said I would have to wait 24-48 hours, but 24 was long enough.  I was ready to find out if this was the “BIG C” or a clogged duct.

Wait!

let me give you some back story…

a few months back i felt a small lump in my right breast, almost felt like a hard sprinkle in my breast.  My mom passed away from breast cancer when I was 7, so the littlest lumps get checked out.  I went to my OB/GYN in my home country of Bermuda and she felt it, brushed it off, and asked me about the BRAC1 & BRAC2 gene testing i had signed up for.  months went by, and I’m packing up to move back to the U.S.  an adventure I was ready for, I had just turned 30 and was going back to school (you couldn’t tell me life wasn’t good).  the week that I moved I felt a lump it felt HUGE!! i asked my friend touch it…i really just needed a second opinion.  Her face said it all, I was going back to the Dr.  just not the one i had been seeing.  I moved to the good ol’ south and settled in.  After a week of classes i was ready to find out what this was, i couldn’t sleep or concentrate until i found out.  I checked into the health services on campus….and once i was in to see the doctor that was it…from that moment it’s been a whirlwind of testing and appointments.

So which brings me to Sept 3….

As the nurse came to get me from the waiting room, I knew what I was going to be told.  The examination room was cold, smelt like alcohol, and as i stared at the blank light blue wall, and all i told myself was “BREATHE”  (easier said then done at that point).  The Dr. came in and gently touched my shoulder…said the whole “i’m so sorry, but” speech, then said

“Your result’s were positive….”

She continued to talk but all i could hear was my daughter in my head saying “I love you mommy” and just like that…I couldn’t breathe, the hands on the clock stopped and even though the doctor was rambling on i never saw her mouth move, she was there, nothing moved.  I was looking around a room and did not feel present, it was something out of a movie.  I walked out, never once feeling my legs carry me, it was like i floated to my car, and that’s where i broke down….

See I want to start this blog as my journey, my way of coping with my reality.  It’s my story…So no matter the outcome of this…it’s going to be a part of my dash. But I’m fighting, HARD, i’m not ready to give up just yet I want to be a survivor…

Welcome to my world….Pink ribbons and boobies

14 thoughts on “Sept 3…The day my world stood still

  1. You have ALWAYS been a strong woman in my eyes and I know that you will overcome the battles that you are facing. I love the fact that you have chosen to document your journey as it will be an inspiration for everyone, especially those who are enduring the same pain and trials as you. My hat goes off to you as I stand and applaud you, my heart goes out to you as you are my inspiration in so many ways.

    Mesh

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  2. This is beautiful Nita. I’m proud of you keeping the faith even though I know it’s extremely hard. With God you can beat this (look at my mom)! I am continuously praying for you and I am here if you need anything. Xo

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  3. Nita, to come out and tell your strog only shows how strong you are. I’ve already told you that you are my shero. Your testimony is strength for me to keep going. God bless you my love. I look forward to reading your post! Love u

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  4. I just want you to know God can use this as a testimony for him..believe that God loves u and your beautiful daughter and wants you to live.. power is in the mouth.. The Bible says..so a man thinketh..is he.. so speak life.. declare it ever day.. thanking him everyday for the healing.. I’m praying for u.. u will live to be an old woman enjoying your daughter n life..u will get through this.. When u pray..be specific.. He knows already what u need..He just wants us to depend on him not ask.. Thank u for this blog…u will touch so many lives from this… Be blessed!!!

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  5. I Love this Lady. You are such a strong Role model for your daughter & those around you. Keep your head up, i cant wait to Read more. Continuously Praying for you, Love you! *whispers* hii harlyy!

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  6. I am right there in spirit holding your hand, praying for you, and sending love. Danita you KNOW our bond and it goes without saying I couldn’t love you more if we were sisters by blood. YOU are an amazing woman and have always gotten up when knocked down. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND WILL BECOME AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS! KHDN 4 LYFE

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  7. Dear Danita,
    You are very brave to share your experience. It’s a wonderful inspiration. There are some things we’ll never understand in this life. Just continue to trust God as you are doing. God promises in His word that He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are constantly in our prayers.

    Love,
    Aunt Mi & Uncle Cranston

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  8. I pray for you. I pray you get the same news I got yesterday very soon. Clear margins & clear lymph nodes. I was diagnosed march 19 & after 18 weeks of chemo my tumor shrunk to nothing. My lumpectomy and lymph node dissection was a week and a half ago. I’ll start radiation in 3 1/2 weeks. But I’m still celebrating. I’m cancer free!!! I know you will be too soon enough.

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  9. My deepest prayers are with you! You fill my heart! Keep standing strong and hold on to God unchanging hand. I am a long time friend of your family! Keep writing your story is a powerful one to tell!

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  10. Hi Nita I have to piggy back on the comments I have been reading I applaud you, you are a strong woman and you always have been. I have been praying for you and Harlow (my god baby), just keep in mind that we all love you, hold tight with God he sees and hear you.

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